in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
