Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
