i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
