More tranny stories later!
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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