you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
