69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
