It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
