Grow some girl-balls and come out already
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
