U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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