My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize