so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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