I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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