don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Randomize
