Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
