You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
