My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
