I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
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