hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Randomize
