I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
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