mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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