I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
