3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Randomize
