No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
