Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
two words...techno handjob
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
