I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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