Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Randomize
