I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
