All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
