...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
