i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
