it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Randomize
