dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
