Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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