i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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