I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
