Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
