oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize