Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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