I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize