o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
