Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
