You really coming over, don't trick.
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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