I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize