in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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