How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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