My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
