Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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