TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize