she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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