16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
