Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Randomize