question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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