I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
