I'm lost and stupid without you.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
