where am i from again
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
