We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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