Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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