It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
