Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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