Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
