Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Randomize
