My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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