Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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