Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize