I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
