we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
