you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
