there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
