Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize