Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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