I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
