Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
