youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
You ate ashes out of my bong
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
