So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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