Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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