I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
