you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
