im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Randomize
